random ass rambling thoughts

i like porn. hell i love porn. i'm about to watch it now. all kinds. just not that granny shit. makes my stomach queasy. or hairy folks. and i don't do the romantic shit. i want some good hard pounding ass porn. not necessarily ass pounding...well you know what i mean.


i can't stand these thirsty ass dudes that be giving these rat faced chicks all of these compliment just so they can try to smash or get a pussy pic. i know i'm not a beauty queen but gaaaaaaatdaaaayuuum! summa these broads be looking like they got kicked in the face with a hot football cleat! then these ol dirty ass knuckleheads be gassing they asses up talking about, "looking good ma". nucka, where??? point that shit out and highlight it so i can find it! shit. stop fucking lying to thee booger wolf ass bitches!

can't stand a punk ass dude either. you wanna think that you are a gift from heaven when you more like a surprise from hell. sit yo monkey ass down somegotdamnwhere! wanna be talking about chicks need to be natural and don't wear weave. but these same clown ass dudes be jockin the heifas with weave all down the crack of their asses. boy miss me with that shit!

i need a drink. well rather i want a drink. wish i had a nice riesling . mmmm.... and some bread pudding. i should make some. that would be so good! i could put some white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts in it. yum! ok i'm making myself hungry!!

i think i wanna be bad. well not that bad. but i think i wanna go out and tongue kiss a stranger. or maybe kiss a woman. that would be some shit! hahahaha! iono...hell may just do both! note to self... buy gum and mints in case you do go out tomorrow. and blow pops! i may even feel a guy up! and i won't even drink so i can't say the alcohol made me do it! oh who am i kidding! you know i'm drinking! but i'm daring myself to do something devious! challenge on!

i really should go have a drink...and watch my porn. just don't feel like getting my lazy ass off the bed though. don't make no sense to be this lazy. oh well oh hell. i get up early in the damn morning. i can be tired.

i want my toes sucked on! someone licked my toes monday and now i'm feenin for the shit! made my body tingle in a good way! mmmm.... and i bet he would do it like he was eating pussy too! well hell he said he would eat that too! lawdjeefus!

speaking of pussy... well my yoni. i like that word... yoni... (thanks EJD for introducing it to me) anyway, i wanna get her waxed. just rip that shit right off! i bet the pain would feel good. dammit, Sweetness jumped just thinking about that shit! mmmm love a little pain with my pleasure. i had an orgasm getting my tattoos! i want another one of those too!

told you this shit was random. oh well... off to lobster tube and some solo masturbation. i love touching my yoni. just like rubbing velvet. and she's sooo pretty pink! you wanna touch her too? maaaybe! anyway... tata for now!

smooches!

don't shit on my craft

i'm a writer. yup, i am. i tried to deny this gift but i couldn't. i wasn't born knowing i could write. but i discovered and dammit i'm good at it. could i make a career of it? who knows. but it's not why i put the proverbial pen to paper. i don't do it to make money. hell i don't even write for the masses. i write out of enjoyment. i write because sometimes...i just have to. i may never finish a story but sometimes i just have to get those thoughts to paper.

i was talking to a friend of mine while she was doing my hair. she mentioned that i could be "rich and famous". i just nodded and didn't really comment. yes, it would be nice to not have to punch a clock and get dressed in order to make a living. i would love to wake up, make a pot of jamaican blue mountain roast and power up the laptop and crank out some chapters and shoot them to my overpaid editor in new york that only calls me 'babe" or "bubulah". but alas, that's not my path... or at least it isn't right now.

do i even care to make it rich with my writing? i don't think i do. do i care that the people who read it will enjoy it? yes i care a great deal. am i going to let it make or break me or stop me from picking up a pen? hell nah!

then i was speaking to another friend, a fellow writer. he asked if i was going to use an alias when i published. um.. why would i do that? i wrote this not some fake ass named person. i want folks to know that Ms. Tee wrote every single solitary juicy erotic ass word on every damn page! i don't want folks guessing as to what i may look like or what kind of person i am. you're gonna know it cause i'm gonna post my fat ass face on the back of every book and have it plastered on my website. bam! right there in your face with it!

someone once asked me why do i write about sex and if i've done everything i've written about. i write about sex because i like it... well love it. why not write about it? and it's not always about the sex. there's a story around the sex. i promise. also, as to whether or not i've done everything... well some of it. maybe not in that same scenario but i've done it. and if i haven't done, i've probably seen it in a porno or some other racy ass show and thought "well why the hell not!"

please don't compare me to zane. i have nothing against her. i have her books and i follow her on facebook. but i'm not her and don't profess to be like her. my name is tarius and that's the only person i can be like. now if you ask if i write in the same genre as zane, i would answer yes. but i am NOT like her.

i know this was kinda all over the place... but i'm an artist and i can do that shit. if you don't like it, get the hell on somewhere. ain't nobody ask you shit no damn way! don't come at me twisted about my shit if you can't offer constructive criticism. don't come at me with no bullshit about it ain't this and it ain't that. in the words of a famous lyricist, Erykah Badu "keep in mind i'm an artist. and i'm sensitive about my shit!" if you ain't tryna raise me up, i don't need you tryna tear me down!

smooches!

i'm just so... uuuugggh!!!

i'm so fucking frustrated right now!!! i need insurance for me and my child. i had her on the state plan but that got cancelled because they said i made too much money. the fuck? but i can pay for these welfare bitches to keep having all of these fucking kids? really?? where the fuck they do that shit at? so now i'm scrambling to try to find some damn insurance so that just in case my daredevil ass child decides to do a backflip off her bed, i can rush her ass to the hospital! heaven forbid if she gets sick. that means i gotta go sit my ass in the county just to be treated. fucking bullshit ass system!

i log on to try to find some damn insurance and these rates are so fucking high! geeeezus! who the fuck has this kind of money? what the fuck is obamacare? is this shit supposed to be cost effective? i love my president but if that muthafucka ain't making this shit easier and affordable for me to obtained, then he can kiss my ass too. fucking.... aaarrrggghh!!!

the hell else wrong with me? i'm so sick of popping these damn ibruprofen for back and hip pain. i'm like a frackle nackle crackhead with these damn things. hell i think i'm just taking now cause i've gotten used to them. ain't working for shit.

can't stand folks that wanna be shady and shit when they know good and hell well that their asses done done wrong. yes i know that was grammatical incorrect but their shady asses don't deserve correct grammar. so this skeezer done tried to start some shit and when the shit is discovered and they stop fucking with her, she wanna act all indignant and shit. bitch... ain't nobody falling for that shit. now you all nervous and quiet cause you don't know when somebody is gonna haul off on your monkey ass. you need to be scared. ol shady bird ass!

i hate talking on the phone now. i really do. so if you call me and we're not cool like that, please be brief with my damn time. like this fool from the job calls me on my phone. i answer because the number was from the office. i'm thinking i left something or whatever. i answer and it's "morgan freeman". wtf?? he calls to tell me that one of his people that he setup for a big ass payment called him to cancel the payment. are you outta your ever loving 70 soul brother ass mind? dude, you better be glad that my ass was stunned into a freaking stupor to ask you what the hell did he want me to do about it! did he want me to pay for it? did he want me to go get it from them? whatever in the hell... THE SHIT COULD'VE BEEN SAID WHEN I GOT TO THE OFFICE TOMORROW! don't call me no effin more with that shit!

so now that i've finished bitching, i'm gonna go enjoy my daughter until it's time for her lil butt to go to bed in 70 minutes.

smooches!

is that me?

i'm still learning to love all of my body. i still look in the mirror sometime and marvel at my body. lately, i've been in love with my booty! all my life, i've hated my butt. my mama and sister had/have the best butts and hips. you know the ones that make a man do a double take (and in my mom's instance, the lady that lived next door!). i never had that booty. insert sad face. so i'm going thru my years not looking behind me cause i didn't like the view.

 i get married and still don't like my booty. it no curve whatsoever. now according to my sister in law and her friends, i got a butt. uh...no. i'm just wide but ain't no weight on it. here recently, i started looking back at it and i'm like where in the hell did that come from?? i finally got myself a boooooooty!!! i'm so happy! i'm doing the gator dance and er'thang! 

now folks are telling me i gotta learn how to twerk. um no. i don't have to do that. i'm already married. and even if i wasn't... i love sports, i cook, give head and swallow an i do anal. nah, i don't think i need to twerk. i'm good. as long as i know how to bounce my ass on the dick, that's all the dancing i need to do.

so take an inventory of yourself ladies. what part of your body have you had a love/hate relationship with? embrace it!

smooches!

really?

i consider myself a good friend. i will admit that i'm not sitting up on the phone with you all day and i may not go out with you all the time. but if you need me, i'm there for you. now if you ask to borrow some money from me, then i expect you to return me my money. i loaned a friend of mine some cash. she gave me a sob story and i bought it. her words were "i'll pay you back on my next paycheck". ok, cool. um... maybe i should've asked when that payday was. it's been 3 months and i ain't seen nan nickel of my money. yet in still, she's posting up on facebook all this shit that she's been doing and buying. really? um ok. next time, miss me with that sad bullshit. you get a deaf ear. you wanna be texting me, saying you miss me. yeah...well.. bitch i miss my money. maybe we can have a meet and greet.

i like to dance about as much as the next person. i like hanging out with my girls and having a good time. but i don't have to go out. i'm good either way. hell, most times, after dealing with a long ass work week, my energetic ass daughter and taking care of house and home, i don't feel like going out. does it make me a bad person? nope. maybe dull. but hey... fuck you too. if you ask me if i want to go out and i tell you no, don't keep asking me. i've already said no. you're the one that's getting your feelings hurt by steadily asking me. if you say that you are going out to a place that i've previously told you i don't like, why do you get mad when i tell you i don't want to go? wtf?? are you deaf???

i'm married. but it's not perfect. what marriage is? i do understand the plight of my friends that have become bored in their marriages. but if you're going to step out on him, have a good ass plan when you are trying to sneak out to meet your side piece. if you have children that you have to make plans for, have a solid plan and stop talking in front of them. especially if that child talks too damn much! make sure that you have a back up plan in case the 1st one goes bust. if that one fails, then please reschedule. also, if you are involving other folks in your scheme, you gotta make sure that they are down for your plan and that they know what they need to say or do in case they are questioned by the spouse. you can't switch shit up and then expect all the players to know what the hell is going on. you can't get mad if they are still going on the 1st play and you didn't call an audible to say that you are going with a hail mary. really?

i'm not a psychologist but i do think that i'm a fairly intelligent individual. if you come to me with a problem and ask me my advice... don't just do it to do it. if you just want to vent, that's cool. i won't say shit. i'll just let you talk. not a problem. but if you ask me my advice and i give it to you, don't shit on it. don't continue with the same fucked up ass behavior and then keep coming back to me asking me what the hell you should do. bitch, i told you a month ago what the fuck you should do! did you listen then? hell nah. so guess what... i'm no longer sympathetic. i'm no longer listening to you with both ears. you may get the gas face. whatever the case is, my patience with you has run out. my next advice for you is to tell you to get the fuck outta my face with that bullshit!

uuuugggh... really?

cravings

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

written word

so i'm going through some boxes of writing stuff. i have so much! geez! anyway, i ran across this poem. just wanted to share. it's called Spoken/Unspoken. hope you enjoy

Spoken/Unspoken

Words
Words
Can hurt more than a fist
Words don’t mean shit
Words lubricated by spit
Words laced with venom
Words coated with sugar
These 3 words
4 letter words
Eloquence, verbose
Melodious
Slang, harsh broken
Fragmented
Meant to convey emotions
Used to convey lies
Create new words
Distort what’s real
What you feel
What you don’t
What you want
Words
Flow like a river
Speech stunted by growth
Ain’t worth the paper they’re written on
Worth a million with a jacket on
Words
Long
Short
Sweet
Bitter
Smooth
Harsh
Truths
Lies
Perfected
Broken
Serious
Joking
Calm
Angered
Safety
Endangered
Loud
Quiet
QUIET!
The truth lies in the spaces
Between
Words
Will you listen?

these feet were made for...what??

i wear a size 12. yeah i know. big ass feet. i didn't like my feet growing up. my siblings made fun of them. said my toes looked as if they were sniffing the ground. rotten lil fuckers! love em but hey... it gave me a complex. it wasn't until my 20s that i really was bold enough to wear cute sandals. it also helped that i was getting pedicures. talk about relaxing! as i said in an earlier post, i was a foot queen for a while. i made a youtube page for those that wanted to view some foot action. i haven't updated it in a while though. i still get people that tell me that they still find pleasure in it though. wow. i got a small fan base.

anyway, if u have the fetish, check out my youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/SexySoleProvider?feature=guide

sexy toe kisses!

don't test me

i'm at the job place, having my monthly meeting with my team. i happen to call one of the dudes a "militant midget". well he's short and has a penchant to want to buck the system. his response was "where do you come up with these names?" i said "off the top of my head. i'm a writer." this butthead has the gall to say "you ain't no writer." excuse you? boy, don't doubt me. trust me when i tell ya that i'm a writer. so i showed his lil ass some of my writing. i printed out 2 poems and placed them on his desk. he had to get his lil ass up outta his chair to come and bow down to me! yes i know i'm a beast with it. and nah that's not cockiness. in the words of one of detroit's finest "it ain't bragging muthafucka if you back it up!" (google it)

now i will admit that i'm one of those people that claim to come out the cooch with a quill and parchment in hand. nope! i was forced into writing by my 6th grade theater arts teacher, ms. smith. she made us write poetry. really? uuuggh! so i made myself sit down and write a freaking poem. i think it was about rain against the window pane. hey! i said i was in the 6th grade dammit! anyway, i got an A in it and that's all that matters. throughout the school year, she made us write things that we had to perform. lady, really? more A's. hmm... maybe there's something to this writing thing after all. so i kept pursuing it. 9th grade english told me i was gifted but twisted. 10th grade teacher told me i was cynical but a good writer. yay! 

over the years, i've honed my skills. i went from poetry to short stories. i tried my hand at a screen play but decided to stick to my lane. at any rate, i have a box full of writings. i even sold 6 copies of a book once. i took off of writing when i got pregnant but now i'm back. i have that writing fever again. i'm about to blowuptuate! i'll be sure to remember to thank him in the far lower right hand corner of my book underneath the section of "haters".

i'm an artist. and i'm sensitive about my shit!

smooches!

my fantasy

got to talking to a friend today about fantasies. not the unicorns and cute lil magical beings. naaahh... the hardcore sexual fantasies. everyone has them. some are more tame than others. i'm pretty sure of you sat down and thought about them, you'd have some too. i'm going to list a few of mine...in no particular order.

sex with 2 men
sex with twins
sex in front of a camera/webcam (i sorta kinda did this)
femdom
tantric
sex at a club
sex with a Dominant (i got one of those in mind)
sex in the ocean
rope play
sensory deprivation
group sex (kinda sorta did this too)
watersports

if you don't know what these are, google em. i mean really?

and i want to totally dominate a man. i have some deviant things in mind with that one. of course, some things i have to be trained on like how to use a flogger and bondage. and while i'm doing it, i want to wear my boots. i call them my domme boots. heehee!

sexy, huh? 5 inches of "kneel before your Goddess" bad assness!

so what are some of yours? share with me!

smooches!